HEDGEBOY 5 |
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Achtung babies, y = z z = y This is not an equation, this is the german kezboard. Anzwaz, do zou know what a biczcle wheel sounds like before it falls off? Well, firstlz it goes click click, then it goes clunk click clunk, and then it goes grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. . thud tinkle tinkle. This noise is often accompanied with words like fuck, shit, damn and blast. How do I know?, well einsteins, zou maz have guessed that this is what happened to me a couple of dazs ago whilst calmlz making mz waz through the german hinterland. I was kinda stuck, the wheel sheared throught the bolts holding it on and I couldnt even push the bike. Alice, in a matter of seconds had turned from a highlz efficient biczcle to an embarassinglz inert uniczle. Personallz I recommend 2 wheels on bikes from now on, it makes the pedalling a bit easier. What did I do? Nothing. I just watched the whole sequence of events unfold before me as if being swept downstream. A german guz pulled up beside me, said some stuff in german and english about his brother and drove off. I carried Alice a litle waz. He returned and gave me a lift to his brothers house. His brother went acht, schitt, kaput. It was a sundaz afternoon.Hmmmmm.... Anzwaz to cut a rather long storz short, he gave me a lift 10 miles to the nearest campsite. Some more rather friendlz germans made me drink beer with them until 1.00am and the next daz I hitched 20 miles to the nearest bike shop with mz wheel. The kind shopkeeper said, acht, schitt, kaput and sold me a new one...... which is nice. So what it the point? Well, shit happens I guess, zou dont die and zou discover that germans are reallz rather friendlz and helpful. Despite there being more mullets than zou could shake several sticks at, and a profusion of facial hair, thez all seem verz nice and I havent been stared at once. Thats it cats. Needless to saz, it has been raining constantlz for over 9 dazs now, can zou bastards stop generating rain and sending it east. Thanks. Still having an excellent time though. Zou should hear about the time I found a hedgehog in mz tent . . . but that another storz. Danka schurn lots of love Vince x0x |